Lost in translation: Hotel always is pleased to accept adultery

Beijing Hotel Brochure – Translated into English as only locals or computers can:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

Our restaurant menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.

Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.

The travel and tourism industry is a global business. Service providers like hotels and tour operators often rely on local translators or sometimes computer programs like BabelFish or Google translator to reach potential clients in other language regions. A privately owned hotel in Beijing relied on such a service and printed their hotel brochure in English after it was word for word translated from Mandarin to English.

eTN writer Elisabeth Lang was proudly handed a translated version of the hotel pamphlet. The non cultural translation advertising some unique hotel service is priceless. You may want to keep this information and read it whenever you feel depressed and consider booking accommodation and hotel stays in Beijing.