Father O'Malley had been preaching at his church in Ireland for so
long, that he decided to take a vacation. He had never been married, and he was curious as to what an American endures in everyday life. So, he decided to go to the States before it is too late.
He hopped on a plane bound for Nevada, and upon arriving at the airport, as he was exiting the plane, someone in the airport ran up to him and exclaimed, "Elvis! Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead, Elvis! How have you been?"
Father O'Malley looked at her and said, "Get outta me face. Can't you see I'm not Elvis? I don't look a thing like Elvis."
The father moved on to his cab waiting outside. He hopped in his cab and, still feeling a little upset, he told the cabby, "Take me to my hotel and step on it." The cabby turned and said, "Sure thing sir - Oh my God! It's Elvis! I knew you weren't dead! I'm your number one fan! It's so great to see you!"
"Shut up, you imbecile. I'm not Elvis! Now turn around and drive!"
So, the cabby speeds to the hotel. Father O'Malley gets his things and walks up to the hotel check-in counter. "Oh my God! Oh my God! It's you!" screams the hotel clerk, "You're back Elvis! I knew this day would happen. We saved everything just the way you like it! Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter and banana fried sandwiches, masseurs, complimentary hookers, and a full liquor bar! I'm so glad you're back!"
Father O'Malley looked at the hotel clerk and said, "Thank you... Thank you very much!"